The Sliver of Light in the Dark
by carinelautner
Summary: What would happen to Edward if he wasn't able to change Bella after Renesmee's birth? Would he leave Renesmee without both her parents? I promise the story is better then the summary.
1. Chapter 1

The Sliver of Light in the Dark

Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight related, they all belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**Summary: What if Bella didn't survive Reneesme's birth? What would Edward do? Would he kill himself and leave Renesme without both her parents?**

**BPOV**

Being pregnant with a half vampire baby wasn't easy. It was tougher then regular pregnancies (not that I knew anything about that, but could only imagine) because it was stronger.

_It! _

Ugh! I hated calling my little nudger _it_ but I wasn't able to get an ultrasound because of the vampire skin.

My pregnancy was almost over, just one more day. Edward and I had decided that we were going to safely deliver the baby before much damage could be done to myself. I could hardly contain my excitement to become a mother.

"What are you thinking about?" Edward asked me.

We were sitting on the big white couch in the Cullen's living room watching the news. I looked at him to find him staring at me intently. I had a smile on my face from thinking about becoming a mother and I guess that was what generated the question.

"I'm just excited about becoming a mother." I replied looking deeply into his eyes.

He smiled.

"Now that you mentioned that, I guess I'm excited about becoming a father." He leaned down and gave me a small but passionate kiss.

After he pulled back, I nestled my head in his neck and turned to watch the T.V contently. I couldn't get happier. The two most important things in my life where going to be united tomorrow and I just couldn't wait.

But soon everything changed.

I needed to use the bathroom so I got up. Edward helped me up and I called out to Rose. She flew downstairs and was by my side in a flash. I turned around to put my flip flops on when I accidentally knocked the cup of blood that was resting on the armchair over. Instinctively I reached to grab it but two pale white hands beat me to it. I felt something inside me rip and soon I was taken over with agony. My knees quickly gave out and I was beginning to fall but Edward caught me before I hit the ground. Rose looked over and soon the spilled cup was quickly forgotten.

A blood curdling scream slipped through my lips as I felt the pain from whatever ripped inside me. Black dots started to cover my eye sight and soon enough all I saw was the blackness, but I could still hear.

"The placenta must have detached."I heard Rose say.

I studied about this and I knew that wasn't a good sign. It meant that my little nudger was dying. No! I'm not going to let my little nudger die, even if that meant that I had to give up my own life. Thinking about my little nudger gave me the strength to open my eyes. I was lying in the hospital bed we had set up in Carlisle's office.

"Edward" I said weakly.

He quickly came to my side, holding my hand and moving my hair out of my eyes.

"I'm here, Bella." He replied.

"We need to get the baby out and quickly." I told him sternly.

He nodded. His eyes were a solid gold.

"I'm going to give you some morphine so you don't feel anything." He let go of my hand and went across the room. He came back with a needle and I wrinkled my nose.

I hate needles, but this was for the baby.

Edward inserted the needle in my arms and I felt the two little pinches when he inserted and pulled out the needle.

He came to my side and I saw the forced smile he had, trying not to show me his true pain. He grabbed my hand again.

"Ok, I've got Carlisle on the phone, but I might have to begin the procedure. Are you ok with that?" He asked me and I could truly see the concern in his eyes.

"Yes, just get our baby out safely."

He just nodded. I closed my eyes ready for the pain of the needle to cut my skin. I felt a small pinch, but it didn't bother me. I felt my blood ooze from my stomach onto my legs and the smell of iron hit my nose like a train. I stopped breathing from my nose and only through my mouth so the smell wouldn't send me over.

As Edward moved the blade from the initial point where he had first cut toward the other side of my stomach the pain got stronger. It started of as just a pinch, then it turned into an annoying cut but then the pain grew with each slice of my skin. I grabbed the bed's armrest and winced as Edward continued to cut, not noticing my reactions.

I begin to feel more of my blood escape to my legs. I knew that I was going to loose a lot of blood. Would I be able to keep my heart beating though? Doesn't matter, I'm going to keep it beating for Edward, Jacob and my little nudger.

The pain kept getting stronger and stronger and before I noticed, there were small but frantic gasps escaping my lips. I tried to stop but I couldn't or else I would breathe through my nose and I'm sure I would faint due to the smell.

Edward quickly noticed my gasps and ran to my side.

"Rose, what did Carlisle say?" Edwards said a little louder then a whisper.

Before I could blink Rose was standing next to Edward with a cellphone in hand.

"He's on his way, but he's a about a half hour away." She replied.

Edward just nodded and looked at me while I kept gasping.

Everyone thought that we would have a peaceful day. That's why I insisted for Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, and Alice to go hunting. They really needed it, there eyes were pitch black and the circles under their eyes were getting more purple.

"Everything is going to be fine Bella." He reassured me. "Is the morphine working at all?"

I nodded my head to answer his first question and tried to respond him on the second one.

"I'm...fine...it's...working..." I lied in between gasps.

"Bella stop trying to spare my feelings. You need to tell me what you are truly feeling." He said sternly.

"Just... bothering...me... a little...I...don't ...know...why...I'm...gasping." I replied to him honestly.

He nodded but I doubt he'd believe a word I said.

"Get the...baby...out..." I instructed him.

He hesitated but I'm sure he smelt all the blood dripping from the cut that was now unattended. What he did next surprised me. He bent down enough so his head was reaching where he cut me and he began to use his teeth to open the vampire skill that was surrounding my uterus.

That hurt the most.

I held my breath and squeezed the armrests tighter. The pain would be worth it.

I wasn't sure if it was the brief second I held my breath or all the blood lost but I was beginning to slip under. Grasping to reality was becoming harder and harder to do. I couldn't hold on any longer and fell into the blackness again.

I felt the blood drip onto my legs and I felt the pain from the cut. I felt Edward finish biting through the vampire skin. I heard my heart beat and try to pump blood through my next sound I heard was something that warmed my heart. My baby was out of me and crying probably in Edward's arms. I tried to imagine that picture. I knew that I had to come back to reality and see and hold my baby.

I blinked and found my eyes. I was staring at the most beautiful sight in the world.

Edward's blue shirt was covered in blood and so was his face,but he was holding a small body that was covered in blood.

Ok, so If you look at all the blood then it's gross but, once you get past that and see the love of your life holding the creation of that love, it's truly heart warming.

Edward looked up from the baby's face and smiled at me.

"Reneesme" He smiled.

Reneesme. A baby girl. Happiness filled me throughout my body. A tear escaped my eye. Edward walked to me still smiling.

"Wanna hold her?" He asked me.

I nodded as more tears escaped. He handed Reneesme to me and I couldn't help but smile. Reneesme was warmer than the usual human temperature. She had my big chocolate brown eyes which matched her golden brown curls. She smiled at me and I smiled back.

"I love you Reneemse, more than you know." I said before kissing her pink cheeks.

I looked up at Edward. He was glowing with happiness and I'm sure that if he could, tears would be escaping his eyes too.

"I love you too, forever." I told him, looking deep into his black eyes.

"As I love you, and Reneesme." He replied,smiling the crooked smile that I love.

He leaned down and kissed me with more passion then ever before. It took all my concentration to remember the baby in my arms.

After he pulled away I looked down on Reneesme again. She looked up and smiled at me, then sharp pain entered my body as Reneesme pulled back after biting my chest.

Edward pulled her out of my arms and called Rose who took Reneemse downstairs. I was gasping for air and I realized that my heart was slowing down. I guess Edward heard that too because he looked at me worriedly for a second before turning to get something.

I had forgotten about the blood but I soon heard it drip onto the floor. I was loosing to much blood and quickly. With every beat my heart slowed down. I wasn't going to make it.

_No!_ I thought_._ _I have to keep my heart beating I promised everyone._

Just then Edward was next to me again with a silver syringe in his hand. He stabbed it in my heart and soon the fire was releases inside. Again I couldn't hold on anymore and the blackness took over me. I was able to make out some sounds before everything was gone.

The last sound I heard was my heart beat slow down, under the normal standards.

**A/N: Hello anyone who reads this. I would just like to say that this is my first fanfic so please don't judge too hard. If you review I will read it and try to answer back as soon as I can. I have this story planned out and I promise that the next chapter is going to get better. Along the story if you have any ideas, leave them in the comments and i'll see if i can use it. Thank you so much. I'll be updating soon. **


	2. Chapter 2

The Sliver of Light in the Dark

Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight related. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Summary: What if Bella didn't survive Reneesme's birth? What would Edward do? Would he kill himself and leave Renesme without both her parents?

EPOV

Bella was sitting on my lap on the white couch in the living room. Everything was at peace and we were just watching the news. Bella was thinking of something because soon she was glowing and had a giant smile on her face. I was curious as to what would make her smile like that.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked her.

"I'm just excited about becoming a mother." She replied happily.

Seeing that the cup of blood had really helped her and that we were going to be able to safely deliver the baby then there was no reason to get upset.

"Now that you mentioned that, I guess I'm excited about becoming a father." I told her honestly.

I leaned down and gave her a small but passionate kiss. The taste of her lips lingered on mine and I tightend my grip on her, but she probably didn't notice. She leaned her head back on my neck and faced the tv again still smiling.

Bella began to stand up and called Rose, probably needing to use the bathroom again. Rose flew down the stairs and was next to Bella's side in a matter of 2 seconds. She turned to put on her flip flops when she accidently knocked down the cup of blood that was resting on the armchair. Rose and I both reached the cup before Bella could but that didn't stop her from reaching over. I heard something rip and immediatly looked over to Bella. She let out an agonzied scream and began to fall. I caught her just before she reached the ground. Rose was looking at Bella trying to figure out what happened. Bella was beginning to slip into uncousinness.

The realization hit her eyes.

"The placenta must have deatched." Rose quickly said.

"Get Carlisle on the phone quickly" I insrtucted her. She just nodded.

I picked Bella up in my arms and rushed her upstairs. The baby was going to die and so would Bella if I didn't do something quick. I laid her on the bed we had set up in Carlisle's office. I was beginning to get the tools out when she called my name.

"Edward." Her voice was so weak.

I rushed to her side and grabbed her hand with one of mine and pushed her hair out of her eyes with the other one.

"I'm here, Bella." I told her.

"We need to get the baby out quickly" She told me sternly.

I just nodded.

"I'm going to give you morphine so you don't feel anything." I told her. She nodded and I flew accross the room, grabbing the needle. She saw it and wrinkled her nose.

I inserted the needle into her arm and then put it back on the counter. I rushed back and grabbed her hand again. I tried to force a smile so she wouldn't worry about the baby, but I was sure she could see through me.

"Ok, I've got Carlilse on the phone, but I might have to begin the procedure. Are you ok with that? I asked her.

"Yes, just get our baby out safely." She replied.

I nodded again and I rushed to get the scapel. I hope the morphine has begun it's affect. I lifted her shirt and inserted the scapel in her skin. Her blood began to ooze out with just the small insecion. I hadn't hunted since we were on the island and I feared that the smell of her blood would make me loose control, but I guess my worry for her was more that the smell didn't even bother me. I continued to cut her skin. With every centimeter, the more blood oozed from her body.

I continued to cut knowing that the faster I got this done the safer Bella and our baby would be. Soon I noticed the panting coming from somewhere. I looked up and saw Bella with her eyes closed, grasping the chair's armrest (her knuckles turning white from all the pressure) and the panting coming from her lips.

_Damn! The morphine hasn't worked at all!_ I thought. I ran to her side.

"Rose what did Carlisle say?" I said just above a whisper, but I knew she heard me.

Rose came to my side before replying.

"He's on his way, but he's still a half hour away."She informed me.

I nodded and looked at Bella again. She continued to pant.

"Everything is going to be fine Bella." I reassured her. "Is the morphine working at all?"

She nodded.

"I'm...fine...it's...working." She said in between pants.

I knew Bella's history of downplaying her pain for me. I wasn't going to let that happen this time.

"Bella stop trying to spare my feelings. I need to know what you are truley feeling." I told her with the type of tone that would leave no room for argument.

"Just...bothering...me...alittle...I...don't...know...why...I'm...gasping."She told me.

I nodded, not 100% sure if she was telling the truth, but that was the best that she would ever tell me.

"Get the...baby...out" She whispered.

I hesitated a little, but soon the smell of her blood alerted me that she was loosing to much blood and I was just standing there.

I had cut the part neccisary but now I needed to get through the vampire skin that blocked the fetus. I was a little worried about having my lips to close to her blood, that maybe it would make me loose control. Without thinking I just decided to go for it, it was the only thing I could do. I leaned down and used my teeth to cut through the skin.

That must have caused her some pain because she held her breath.

_Just do it quickly because it will save her from more pain. _ I thought.

Getting through the vampire skin took a little more effort than I thought. It was like trying to cut through a frozen steak with the sharpest knife you have.

I got through the skin and reached inside for the baby, my hands getting covered in Bella's blood. I pulled out the baby and it began to cry. I quickly noticed it was a girl and I was filled with joy.

She was so beautiful behind the blood. She had Bella's chocolate brown eyes, my bronze hair covering her think curls. She smiled at me, showing her growing white teeth that complimented her rosey pink cheeks.

I looked up to see Bella's expression and found her to be looking at me.

"Renesmee" I told her.

Bella's face lit up and she was wearing a huge smile. A tear ran down her face. I walked to Bella already knowing the answer to my next question.

"Wanna hold her?" I asked.

She nodded and more tears ran down her face. I handed Renesmee to her and Bella still smiled. The next thing I saw warmed up my dead heart. Bella,my love, my life, my everything was holding the only proof of our love in her arms. Renesmee smiled at her mommy and I smiled along with her.

"I love you Renesmee, more than you know." Bella cooed, then leaned down and kissed Renesmee's pink cheek.

She looked at me, I was still smiling and trying to hold back the dry tears that were building up inside of me. Bella was so happy.

_I've never been happier to be wrong about the outakes of any situation._ I thought to myself.

"I love you too." She said to me.

"As I love you and Renesmee." I smiled the crooked smile that I knew she loved.

I leaned down and kissed Bella with as much passion as I could without hurting her. Bella wasn't holding back any of her love, which just made it more difficult to stop the kiss. But I unwillingly pulled away from her. She looked down at our daughter again.

_Our daughter._ I thought. Bella and I had made a family and we would be happy together.

But then Renesmee bit Bella. I quickly reached down and pulled Renesmee away from Bella. I called Rose, who again was by my side in a flash. I gave her Renesmee and she took her downstairs. Bella was panting again and her heartbeat was slowing down. I ran back to the counter and grabbed the syringe with my venom in it.

I turned back to Bella an saw all the blood escaping her body. The lower part of the bed she was on was covered in Bella's blood and it was beginning to drip onto the floor. This realization made me move faster. I was next to Bella in a flash and I plunged my venom into her heart. She closed her eyes, sinking into uncousnines.

Her heartbeat was gradullay slowing down with every beat, it worried me.

The next sound threw me over the edge.

Bella breathed her last breath.

I put my hands over her chest and began to do CPR on her.

_One, two , three. Breathe! One, two, three Breathe!_ I thought over and over again.

"Please don't leave me Bella. Think of Charlie, think of Renee, think of Resemee, think of me." I begged her.

I opened her lips and blew air into her lungs, then I moved my hands to her chest again.

"Rose, call Carlisle!" I screamed.

"Carlilse, something went wrong. Where are you?" I heard Rose call Carlisle downstairs.

"I'm only 5 minutes away. What happened?" Carlilse asked back through the phone.

"I'm not sure. All I know is that Edward was able to get Renesmee out, but Bella was loosing a lot of blood and her heart stopped." Rose said quickly.

"Was Edward able to get the venom in her before it stopped?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes." I told Rose from upstairs.

I moved to Bella's mouth again and I blew in more air. I moved back to her chest.

"I'm almost to the river." I heard Carlisle say.

I heard the wind outside change coming towards the house. Carlisle was here, that gave me a piece of mind. I moved back to Bella's mouth again.

"What happened?" I heard Carlisle say behind me.

"The placenta deatched and so I rushed her here. I knew that the baby would die so I asked her if she wanted me to start the procedure and she said that was fine. So, I did and I was able to get the baby out. Oh yeah, it's a girl. Anyway, Bella was loosing a lot of blood and was going in and out of counciousness so I pludged the venom into her heart but it was getting weaker and weaker and now it stopped. She isn't breathing either." I gave him the fastest summary I could.

He just nodded and walked over to us. He quickly examed Bella then ran over the the counter where he kept the tools. He brought the defibrillator (**A/N: The machine that shocks the heart and brings it to beat again.**) to the bed's side. While he put it to charge, he moved over to Bella and moved her shirt out of the way, making the necissary preparations. He turned back to the defibrillator and grabbed the paddles, quickly rubbing them together, then turned to face Bella again and placed it on her chest. Bella's body shot up with the shock, but her heart did not restart.

I was beginning to go crazy. Dry sobs began to build up in my chest and were trying to escape through my lips.

_No! She's not gone._ I forced myself to think.

Carlisle put the paddles on Bella's chest again. Again it shot up, but her heart didn't react.

_C'mon Bella! This is the last time I can do this or else it won't work. Please, think of your family._ Carlisle thought.

He must have been caught up in the moment that he forgot I could read his mind. I'm sure he didn't want to say that this was the last time he could shock her outloud.

Carlisle rubbed the paddles together again, placed them on Bella's chest and for the third and final time, Bella's body shot up and her heart didn't beat.

"I'm sorry Edward." Was all that Carlisle said, probably trying to inform the rest of the family as well.

"No, this can't be it." I denied. "No Carlisle, you've got to keep going. Do it again!"

"It won't help Edward." He responded.

I grabbed Bella's hand, it was cold. With my right hand, I stroked her deathly pale face.

"Bella, please come back to me. What about Charlie, Carlisle, Emmett, Alice, Jasper, Rose, Renee, Esme, Renesmee? You need to come back to them too." I dry sobbed.

I waited 5 mintues, but nothing happened.

I broke down there. I buried my face and dry sobbed into her neck.

_NO! NO! NO!_ I thought over and over. _ No, you can't leave me. You promsed to keep your heart beating! _

I was... there are no words for what I was feeling.

How was I suppose to feel? The reason for happiness, meaning, hope, faith, everything in my life was gone, and it was all my fault.

I saw every bit of wrong I did to her bring her to death. When I saw her in Biology class two years ago. When I fell in love with her and she fell in love with me. When we decited to be together. When I overreacted in the baseball field and James almost killed her. When I killed James, enraving his mate causing her to chase down Bella. When I left her and caused her to meet with the Volturi. When I agreed to have sex with her and got her pregnant.

I know what it was like without her. I only lived those six months because I believed that it was the best thing for her and I knew that she was alive. How can I this time? I saw her death, no, I caused her death.

I dried sobbed more and more into her now cold neck.

I wasn't going to live without her again. Jacob had promised and now it was time for him to deliever.

"You can't do that Edward." Alice was by my side before I could lift my head of Bella's dead neck.

"You need to think of Renesmee!" She yelled at me.

"Alice, what did he decide?" Carlisle asked.

"He..doesn't want to...continue." Alice informed everyone.

_What about Renesmee? Did you think about that? _ Rosalie's thought were the loudest, but everyone was thinking pratically the same thing.

"Son, I know that this is hard for you. It's hard for all of us too, but you can't decide things out of anger." Carlisle was now hunched over me, resting one hand on my shoulder, looking into my golden eyes.

"I...don't know what to do...without her." My voice broke on _without._

"I know that this is very difficult. I can't even imagine what you must be feeling, but you can't think about yourself Edward." Carlisle instructed me.

I stood up, still holding onto Bella's cold hand.

"Can...I have a moment alone...please?" My voice broke again.

Carlisle nodded and he and Alice ran downstairs. Since everyone heard me, they all left, respecting my wish.

"Bella. What am I going to do? I don't want to be here if you aren't. These 5 mintues have been worse then the six months we spent away from eachother. What am I going to do with Rensemee? She looks so much like you, and she brings back so many memories. Oh God! Will I even be able to even be near her?"

I spoke to Bella like she as still here, hoping for a response even though I knew she never would respond again.

I stroked her face for the last time.

"I don't know what to do without you." I breathed.

I leaned and kissed her forehead also for the last time. I pulled her body up and pressed it against mine for a good 5 mintues before letting her go.

"I love you." I told her.

I reached for my phone in my pocket and dialed Alice's number.

" You guys can come back." Was all I said.

I was staring at Bella´s haggard and dead body.

A hand was placed on my shoudler and I looked back to see that it was Alice. Everyone was in the room now.

I was so selfish that I forgot what everyone else must also be going through. Carlilse and Esme lost a daughter. Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie lost a sister. Alice not only lost her sister but her best friend. Renesmee lost her mother. Charlie lost his daughter, too.

How was I going to tell Charlie? Could I tell him?

I guess Alice must have seen my confusion in a way of telling Charlie because she said, " I'll let Charlie know."

I turned around and hugged her. She wraped her arms around me and gave me a tight squeaze.

When I turned back a thought hit me.

Flashes of Bella's face popped in my head.

I turned to Rosalie, who still held Renesmee.

I didn't need to say anythign to Rose or Rensemee. I held my arms out and Rosalie held Resnesmee out to me. Renesme reached out and grabbed onto my arms.

I pulled Renesmee into a tight hug being careful to not squeaze her too tight. She was so small, bearly a day old but she understood so much. I wasn't sure what to tell her. Somehow she understood because she hid her face into my chest and I felt her tears stain my shirt.

I clutched her closer.

Everyone was staring at the floor with a blank stare, their mind also blank.

I closed my eyes and held Renesmee. She was the only part of Bella I had left and there was nothing I wouldn't do for the both of them.

Part of my me hated Renesmee. This part blamed her for the cause of Bella's death. But a bigger part of me hushed that part and blamed himself. It wasn't Renesmee's fault that Bella got pregnant. If wasn't her fault that she was half vampire thus stronger then her own mother. It wasn't her who had let Bella loose too much blood and not inject her with venom fast enough.

I slightly tightened my grip on her . She tightened her small fingers around my shirt, still crying.

Just then the phone rang. The high shrill demanded to break the silence and for someone to answer.

Esme flew downstairs.

"Hello." She said with a pinch of happiness to decieve whoever was calling.

"Hello Esme, it's Charlie." The phone reciever said.

I tensed a little. Renesmee poked her head from my shirt. Her big brown eyes were filled with tears. I couldn't look into her eyes just yet. They reminded me too much of Bella so I looked up.

"Charlie, this isn't a good time right now." Esme said flawlessly.

"What do you mean? Where's Bella?" Charlie said beginning to panic.

"Bella's..sleeping. We all had a hard night. She's not getting any better." Esme said. Her hesitation was only look enough for my family and I to hear it but Charlie wouldn't notice.

If only Charlie knew that she would never wake from her slumber.

"What do you mean?" Charlie repeated.

"We're not sure yet. Carlisle is running test. All we know is that she got a fever of 103 degrees." Esme said cooly.

"Let me know if anything happens." Charlie said after a mintue of silence.

"First thing. Bye" Was all that Esme said.

Renesmee snuggled her head back into my shirt.

What were we going to tell Charlie?


	3. Chapter 3

**The Sliver of Light in the Dark**

**Chapter 3**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight related. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**Summary: What if Bella didn't survive Reneesme's birth? What would Edward do? Would he kill himself and leave Renesme without both her parents?**

**EPOV**

I stared at my angel. Her lower half was still covered in her own blood.

_Edward._ Someone called. I refused to look away from Bella.

"Yes?" I responded.

_I know what you are feeling and I'm so sorry for you loss._ Jasper thought.

I was so caught of guard that I looked at him.

"Thank you." I whispered.

It was tough to face the fact that I had lost what I was trying to hold on to most. Of course I love Renesmee. I would do anything for her but, she is a constant reminder of the love I have for Bella. And now because of me she doesn't have her mother.

I lowered my head again, staring at the floor with the new guilt that now washed over me.

I heard Jacob's thoughts coming from outside.

"There's someone at the door." I whispered.

Jacob's smell soon reached us and Carlisle flew downstairs. I heard him open the door to let Jacob in.

"What happened?" Was all Jacob said.

He had seen Carlisle's grim expression and was searching the living room for Bella.

"Upstairs." Was all that Carlisle said.

Jacob walked past Carlisle then and raced up the stairs. With every step his heartbeat grew faster and louder.

_What happened? What was wrong? Something was wrong by the look on Carlisle's face. Edward must be here if Bella is. What happened Edward?_

His questions wouldn't stop and each one felt like a fresh slap on the face when I thought the answers to all those questions.

Everyone except for me left the room and gave Jacob the information of Bella's where abouts. He let everyone pass then he walked to the room expecting bad news.

At the door he closed his eyes and prepared himself for whatever happened with Bella. He must have been so worried that he didn't notice that Bella's heart wasn't beating anymore.

He opened his eyes and walked inside. Once he saw Bella's body lifeless and covered in blood he froze.

_NO! She didn't! It couldn't be! Edward, please tell me shes just sleeping or is this an effect for when you change?_ Jacob asked panicing.

I just shook my head.

_NO! NO! NO!_ He thought over and over again.

_"_What happened_?"_ He asked again.

I couldn't answer him. I couldn't relive what happened. But I knew that someone was going to tell him and no matter how hard I tired I would relive the nightmare.

Alice came in . He was far enough from the door that she was able to slip past him to face him and turn her back to me.

I heard Jacob sniffle. Tears were probably running down his face but, I didn't turn to check. I was staring at Bella again.

"Bella was sitting on the couch and when she got up she knocked down her cup of blood. She reached to get it, but Rose and Edward already had it. She reached too far and the placenta ripped inside her. She was rushed here and Edward got Renesmee out, but Bella lost too much blood. Her heart didn't hang on long enough for the venom to spread. Edward did CPR and Carlisle tried to shock her heart back, but it didn't work." Alice explained. Her voice sounded distint like she was trying not to cry.

All the guilt and self hatred I felt came flooding back to me. I wanted to look away from Bella because now she was the proof of the monster I was. A part of my brain, the masochistic part, forced myself to look at her and to feel all the pain that I inflicted on her.

I wasn't paying attention to Jacob anymore so it surprised me when I heard something hit the floor. That pulled my attention away from Bella and I turned around to see that Jacob and fallen to the floor. HIs giant tan hands were covring his hand and his body was shaking. I then heard the low sob coming from him.

After a mintue he looked up at me.

"YOU! This is all your fault! You should have never come back! She would have been safe with me! She would have been alive right now!" He screamed at me as he stood up again.

His whole frame was shaking but the thing that stood out the most was his face. It was tired from the lack of sleep and all the running, confused, and hurt. His eyes were filled with tears and his eyeball was a deep red. The bags under his eyes were being flooded with the tears that streamed down his face. His lips were pulled back showing his teeth as he struggled with calming himself down enough so he wouldn't phase.

Alice had also disappeared while I was lost in my thoughts.

So there was no one there to stop his attack. He jumped from the ground using all his strength and knocked into me. He was able to also knock me to the ground. All his thoughts were foucased on cursing me and ways to rip me apart.

I didn't fight back. I didn't want to. What was there left to fight for? Bella was gone.

I held my arms down and fought against my instict of self preservation.

_What the hell is he doing?_ Jacob thought.

After a moment he realized why I wasn't fighting back. He realized that since Bella was gone, I wanted to die too.

His facail expression changed. It morphed into an evil look. His eyes sparkled and his smile grew wider and wider.

_No, I'm not going to kill you. Because even though I'm in pain, you are in worse pain. If i kill you I would be doing you a favor since no one else here will do that. So I promise you Edward that I'm going to do everything to keep you "alive" and give you contsant reminders of Bella and what you did to her. _He though.

I couldn't help the growl that escaped my lips. I pushed him off me. Forgetting that everyone could hear, I said something that I knew would hurt Jacob.

"Even though I killed her with my selfishness. I at least got to give her the biggest pleasure anyone could give and proof of that is downstairs right now probably in Rosalie's arm. You only imagined having Bella that way. I _got_ to have Bella that way." I replied coldy.

Everyone downstairs tried to push out the image of Bella like that.

He looked at Bella once more. Hurt was covering his face when he realised that. He stormed out of the room, but when he got downstairs he thought something that would guilt me forever.

_At least my pleasure and desire didn't kill her._ He left not bothering to glance at anyone as he stared at the floor. He phased into a wolf and let the others know what happened.

I glanced at Bella's body again and I fell to the ground when I thought his words over again.

**A/N: Hey everyone. Thank you so much for reading my story. I've been getting a few reviews and I'm really happy that everyone is liking it. I promise you this will get better and filled with more drama. Please send this to your friends and help spread my story. Up next is Edward telling Charlie so let's see how that goes. Lastly, I know that in the series Jacob is there helping Edward, but I left Jacob out on purpose because I feel that with Jake's help Bella survived. I hope that clears some thoughts if anyone had them. **


	4. Chapter 4

**The Sliver of Light in the Dark**

**Chapter 4**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight related. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**Summary: What if Bella didn't survive Reneesme's birth? What would Edward do? Would he kill himself and leave Renesme without both her parents?**

**Jasper's POV**

What could I do but caress her, to let her know that I was there for her?

Tell her everything's ok? No way could I do that, she just lost her best friend.

I just hugged her Alice closer to me as she tearlessly sobbed into my shirt. I could only run my hand through her hair.

The emotinal climax around me was too much. I'm sure nothing compared to Edward's since his was the strongest. Seven vampires around the house trying to grasp the harsh reality of what happened. They were all scattered and at a loss for words but their emotion was great. They all lost someone special, including myself. I wasn't as close to Bella as everyone esle was, but I did feel like she was my sister.

"I'm sorry Jazz, you must want to get away from all the saddness around here." Alice looked up at me.

"No, I'm good right here. I need to be with my family just like you." I responded honestly.

She just nodded her head slowly.

I hugged her tighter.

After Jacob left, the house was even more tense. By my guess, no one knew how to tell Charlie and Renee.

"Alice." She looked up at me.

"Yes?" She replied.

"I...um... how are you going to tell.. Charlie?" I knew it was wrong to ask but soon her body would start to decay and Charlie had a right to know as soon as possible.

Everyone grew curious as they heard what I asked Alice. I guess they didn't think about that yet.

"I...I...I don't know." Alice cried. I clutched her closer, letting her sob into my chest.

"What are we going to say?" Emmett thought aloud.

Stonger pain stabbed me and I winced. Edward heard and he was in more pain. I closed my eyes, trying to push out some calming waves to him but it was working in reverse, like he was altering my emotions and it was a painful one.

Alice stopped sobbing and pulled away. I still had my eyes closed and was wincing so I'm sure she looked up and noticed.

"What is it Jazz?" She asked concerned.

"Nothing." I choked out, barely audiable to our ears.

"Edward?" She mouthed not wanting him to hear but I'm sure he heard it through her mind.

I just nodded my head.

"Just a little stronger then anything else. I'm fine, really." I responded quickly.

I opened my eyes to catch her staring at me, concern and saddness and pain covered her eyes. She looked away and sighed.

"I guess, we'll tell him that her disease spread out quickly and we tried everything but her heart stopped and nothing we did brought it back." Alice released in one breath.

I nodded.

"What about Renesmee?" Rosalie asked. "We can't keep her from her mother's fu...well you know."

Alice opened her lips to say something but nothing came out. She was confused, she had no idea what to say about Renesmee.

"Tell them that she was my brother's baby and that we had taken her in when they died in a car crash." Edward whispered. Pain was clear in his voice and it stabbed at me again.

No one responded.

I felt something calm tug at me. Since it was so peacefull, painless and well calm I looked around the room to see if it was coming from here and I needed to find out what it was. Then I noticed that Rose had Renesmee in her arms as she was sleeping. Lucky, she gets to have some peace.

"I don't want to Bella, but I have to go. I need to take care of our daughter and our families. I will love you forever." Edward said.

He must have forgotten that we could all hear but he told her anyway.

Alice stood up and ran to the linin closet upstairs. I saw her as she ran from the closet to Carlisle's office with a white silk sheet. I'm sure she was bringing that to place over Bella's body.

Edward walked down the hall slowly, slower then a human, slower then a snail. His facial expression vaguley showed the pain and how he was trying to hide it and the effort it took to move his feet away from Bella.

Alice was by his side before he made it about halfway down the hall. She wrapped her arms around his body and helped him walk a little faster. I raced up the stairs getting ready to help Alice once she reached them because she didn't look like she could handle him all by herself. I wrapped my arm on Edward's other side because he looked like he was about to fall. He never protested when Alice and I helped him. He must have been thankfull that we were there. We set him on the couch and he burried his head in his hands.

"Thank you" He whispered to us.

Alice sat beside him and she touched his shoulder. He turned to face her as she embraced him in a hug. There he wept his tearless sobs.

I never understood their relationship. How with just a touch or a look they knew what the other one needed or was thinking. With Bella in our lives it was just stronger because they both loved her, trust me I know.

Alice was also weeping into Edward's arms so I knew to leave them alone. I ran upstairs to Alice's and my bedroom. I laid on the bed, closed my eyes and tried to push calming waves to everyone.

**EPOV**

Alice and I alway had something special. We never really knew what, but we could just look at one another and we would know what the other was feeling or thinking (well not couting my powers). It would be no surprise to anyone if I went to Alice first. I held her tightly and wept. She clutched me and wept alongside me.

I felt some calm waves come towards me and remembered Jasper. He must be in so much pain, if I was in pain, not to mention the other five as well and his pain.

I began to let go of Alice and she started to do the same. The selfish part of me wanted to grab Alice and hold her and weep forever, but that wasn't fair to her or Jasper or anyone else.

I looked up and saw that there was no one in the living room. It was nice that they were giving us our space.

All I wanted to do was flee like last time I felt a pain this great. I wanted to go to a cave or something and curl up there and never ever move from that spot, but I made a promise to Bella. I promised her that I needed to take crare of Renesmee. I only held her once in my arms since she was born and I missed her.

"Rose can you bring Renesmee here please." Alice said for me, seeing my decision.

Rose walked to us carefull to not wake up the angel in her arms. I stood up and my arms reached out for my daughter. I carefully picked her off Rose's arms, not wanting to wake her, and wrapped my arms around her.

I looked at her and pain shot through me. She looked so much like Bella. The curls in her hair, the color of her cheeks, her tiny frame it was all Bella. I lifted her up to my lips and I kissed her forehead.

"I love you." I whispered.

Her lips curled up at me.

I looked at the clock at the table near the phone and saw that it was six o'clock. I took a deep breath, trying to settle my pain.

Alice saw my desicion and ran towards the phone. She dialed the number and took a deep breathe as well.

"Hello?" A deep voice answered on the other side of the line.

"Charlie, it's Alice." Alice responded, her voice showing no emotion.

"Hey Alice." Charlie answered slowly, curious.

"I need to talk to you in person. Is it ok if I come over?" Alice asked.

"Sure." Charlie answered.

"Great. I'm leaving right now then." She told him.

"Ok. See you soon." He replied before Alice hung up.

Alice ran over to a little table and she got the keys to the Volvo. _Would you like to come? _She thought. I shook my head. She left to the garage and I heard as the car drove down the highway.

**APOV**

I drove down the familar pathway, but never did I think of bringing this news to Charlie that would be so painfully true. I took deep breaths to calm myself. I parked in the drive way. Before going inside I looked in the rearveiw mirror to check my facial expression. It was nervous with a little hint of saddness, it was the best I could do.

I got out of the car and walked up the steps. Each step was a fresh slap on the face and a reminder of what I was about to do. I knocked on the door and waited for Charlie to answer.

I heard Charlie get up from the couch and walked slowly over to the door. He opened it for me.

"Hey Alice." He said. His voice think with concern.

"Hi Charlie." I greeted him.

He moved out of the way and motioned for me to come inside. I walked all the way to the couch and sat on the loveseat while he sat on the couch on the oposite end.

"Charlie. I don't know how else to tell you this." I began.

Charlie just nodded, already expecting bad news. I'm sure he could piece it together. Bella was "sick" and she wasn't getting any better then I show up at his door with a look of sadness on my face.

"She's gone." I whispered loud enough so he could hear.

He opened his mouth and then he froze. I didn't know what to do. His future was the same as the present. He was shocked beyond words.

**A/N: So I know that I said in the previous chapter that this would be Charlie's reaction. I changed it a little because I'm the author and I can do that. I'm sorry if I confused people with the three POVS but I wanted to present the story in the best way possible. I wanted to show you how the rest of the family felt in a way that wasn't going to take up much time because, honestly, I don't have much time, so I chose Jasper. I needed to show the small bonding time Edward and Renesmee has but through his eyes and also his conection to Alice. Lastly, I needed to go to Alice's POV because she is telling Charlie and I'm sure everyone wanted to know how that went first hand. I promise that the story will be better and has a line. I've been planning this as I go along so don't worry. Thanks so much for adding this story to Favorites or Story Alert. It means alot and inspires me to write more often. Share, read and review. THANKS AGAIN.**


	5. Chapter 5

**The Sliver of Light in the Dark**

**Chapter 5**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight related. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**Summary: What if Bella didn't survive Reneesme's birth? What would Edward do? Would he kill himself and leave Renesme without both her parents?**

**Author's note at the bottom!**

**Charlie's POV**

The shrill ring of the phone interupted the game. The Packers were beating the Steelers by a landslide. I was sure the Packers were going to win.

I reached over the armrest and pullled the reciever up to my ear.

"Hello?" I asked the caller.

"Hey Charlie, it's Alice." Her voice sounded off, like she was hiding something.

"Hey, Alice." I replied slowly.

"I need to talk to you in person. Is it ok if I come over?" She asked me in the same tone.

"Sure." I replied. What could she possibly want to talk about?

"Great. I'm leaving right now then." She said through the phone.

"Ok. See you soon." I replied to her then hung up the phone.

I couldn't help but feel that this was related to Bella. What could have happened? I talked to her last night and she was..well not fine, but close to it at least. Her voice wasn't as weak as it was before. So what happened? I had no idea what the answers to my questions were, but one thing was that it's about Bella, call it father's intuition.

I had to take some calm breaths before Alice arrived. She wouldn't tell me if I was freaking out and I needed to know.

I heard Alice knock on the door. I got up from the couch and headed to the door anxious to know what happened.

"Hey Alice." I greeted her.

"Hey Charlie." She replied back. By the look on her face I knew that she wasn't sure how to start what she wanted to tell me. So I moved out of the way of the door and motioned for her to come inside. She walked over to the living room and sat on the loveseat, while I sat on the opposite couch.

"Charlie. I don't know how else to tell you this." She began. I knew it was bad news. Bella was not doing well. It didn't take a genius to figure out that something bad happened. I knew it, but what was it.

"She's gone." She whispered to me.

What? How? When?

It was the worst questions, but the only ones my brain could come up with. Bella, my baby girl. The one I watched grow into a beautiful woman. The one I walked down the isle just about month ago. Gone? So many questions that I needed answers to, but I couldn't find my voice.

After 5 minutes, I was able to control myself. Alice was staring at the floor. She looked like she was about to break down any minute. The warm tears fled down my face. I didn't realise I was crying, I quickly wipped them away.

"Alice." Her head snapped up. "When?"

"Last night." She whispered.

A stab of pain hit my heart. I talked to her just last night. I grabbed onto the arm rest.

"How?" I asked. Part of me didn't want to know what happened, but part of me was dying to know.

She was silent for a while.

"She was getting worse. Her heart was over working itself, then it just...stopped." I had to strain myself to hear that last part.

"Edward rushed her to Carlisle's office. Carlisle quickly strapped the defibrillator to her and Edward did CPR but it didn't _work_." Her voice broke.

I couldn't help the tears that streamed down my face coming out faster and faster. The sobs began to escape my lips. Alice looked at me and rushed to my side. She rubbed circles on my back. They were soothing, but not enough. I dropped my head into my hands and sobbed into them. Alice didn't speak she just continued to rub my back.

I didn't stop crying for while. I couldn't help it. My baby girl was gone. The human I helped bring into this world. The one I cared for and loved and always protected was gone, just like that.

I managed to stop sobbing and looked up. Alice was looking away from me but she never stopped rubbing my back. I needed to do something. I needed to walk around, clean something, anything besides just sit here. I knew what I had to do, but I didn't want to. I stood up and Alice looked at me. Her face was smooth, hiding her emotions.

"I.. need to call Renée." I told her.

"Can you? I don't mind calling her-" She began to say.

"No, it's best that I tell her." I interupted her. She just nodded.

"You don't need to worry about the funeral Charlie. Esme and I will take care of it." She whispered.

Hearing her say that word sent another stab of pain. I just nodded. I didn't want to think about it.

I walked over to the phone.

"Charlie, I think you should wait to call her. Would you like me to make you some tea? You look like you need one." She called to me.

"Yea. I would like that." I replied weakly. How was I suppose to tell Renée that her baby was gone?

By the time I made it to the kitchen table Alice was just putting the water to boil. I sat down and waited while Alice made the tea, not saying a word.

I drank the tea slowly, planning on how I was going to tell Renée. I thought it was best to tell it to her straight, no foreplay.

I walked to the phone once more and this time dialed the number.

"Hello?" Renée asked.

"Hey, it's Charlie." I grumbled into the phone.

"Charlie. Um Hi. How are you?" She replied.

"I need to tell you something." I ignored her question. Getting straight to the topic would be best.

"Ok?" She replied hestitanly.

"When Bella came back from her honeymoon, she came back with a rare disease." I told her.

"What? Is she ok? "

"Yea, she was pretty bad for a while, but then she was mending, then...things got worse."

"How worse?" She replied worried.

"Her heart was working too hard and it couldn't go on anymore. Carlisle and Edward did all they could, but it wasn't enough."

The other line went silent. A loud banging startled me and I looked towards Alice. She was sitting on the couch silent as a mouse. That's when I hear Phill's voice.

"Renée? Renée! Sweetheart wake up!"

"Phil?" I said to the reciever. "Phill, pick up!"

"What happened? What did you tel her?"

"That..." It was difficult to say it the first time. Another pang in my chest.

"That Bella isn't with us anymore, that she passed." I wiper away the silent tears that now fell.

"When?" He asked after a while.

"Last night."

"Charlie, I'm so sorry." He must have begun crying because his voice was low.

"Thanks Phill."

On the other side of the line a soft moan broke through. Renée must be coming around.

"Oh. I... need to go. Thank you for telling me."

"Of course. I call you when I know the date of her..." I couldn't finish the sentence, but he understood.

"Ok." Then he hung up the phone.

I took a deep breath and hung up the phone. What was I going to do now? I was all alone in this world. I looked at Alice who was still sitting quietly in the chair in the kitchen.

The way she looked out the window made me really curious. I really wanted to know the answer to my next question, but I didn't want to say it outloud, but curiosity got the best of me.

"Alice." She faced me.

"How is he?" I asked.

Her face fell.

"I'm not 100% sure. After he realised she was gone. He just sat on the ground next to her the whole night, didn't even fall asleep. He got up from the ground around 7 this morning. He got all panic-y this morning just thinking about telling you. I thought it was best if I came. I'm sure he's curled up in a ball next to her body. He doesn't want to even think about the funeral." She answered in a lifeless tone.

I just nodded my head.

" I need to go make plans with Esme. Will you be ok without me?"

"Can I see her?" I asked without thinking.

"I don't think that's a good idea Charlie. Besides, I doubt Edward will let you near her." She replied.

"Go ahead, then. I'll be fine." I answered. She hugged me before she left.

I was all alone.

**Author's note: **I'm a terrible author! I'm so sorry guys! I didn't forget about my story but real life has gotten in the way. I failed a few classes this past semester and I had to retake the tests to get my grades back up and that took a lot of time for studying. Not to mention that every teacher decided to have projects due so they can ruin our social lives and that also took a long time to get done. I had a bunch of tests for this semester and the last one was tuesday so yay for that! Sadly I have more tests next week and a test that is bigger then finalas to take in december and i have to study everything I learned this past year. I have chapter 6 written and edited and will be posted shortly after this one as a little gift to say i'm sorry. I'm not sure when chapter 7 will be up because I need to make time to write it. I promise to get that up as quickly as possible. Once again sorry.

So what do you think of the chapter? The more reviews the faster chapter 7 will be written!


	6. Chapter 6

**The Sliver of Light in the Dark**

**Chapter 6**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight related, they all belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**Summary: What if Bella didn't survive Renesmee's birth? What would Edward do? Would he kill himself and leave Renesmee without both her parents?**

**Author's note at the bottom! Sorry for any spelling mistakes!**

**EPOV**

Not being able to cry was torturous. I wanted to be able to shed a tear for my beloved Bella, to show her (although she would never see) how much I love her. I was still able to sob, tearless sobs.

The dreaded date came. It was a lot harder then I thought it would be. I thought I could put on a poker face and try not to break down. I had to look at the ground alot to maintain my focus.

The ceremony was beautiful. Alice and Esme had thought of everything and it was perfect. Alice started with a speech about how she and Bella became best friends and would always be sisters no matter what. Esme and Carlisle talked about her lovely personality and how Charlie and Renée must be so proud to have her as a daughter and how they both loved her like one of their own. Emmett was the hardest to watch. He would say how he would tease her all the time because he finally met someone who was just like a little sister to him. I could see the pain in his face and how much he was trying to hide it. Charlie and Renée were second to last and they talked about basically Bella's entire life. From how excited they had been to find out they were parents to everything she did. Renée was sobbing close to the end and couldn't finish her sentence so Charlie took over, but the tears escaped him too. If i could cry, I would have been sobbing like a baby. His sentence still rang in my head.

_She had so much faith, in everything she did. Her heart always saw the best of anyone and that's what i'm going to miss the most._

Renesmee was on my lap the entire time. She was confused about everything. I didn't have the heart to tell her what she was witnessing and she was too frightened to know the answer. She clearly saw the pain on mine and everyone's faces.

It was finally my turn to go up and make a speech. I looked down at Renesmee and she clinged tighter to me, not wanting to let go. I clutched her tighter and made my way up the stage.

"I would like to thank everyone for coming today. It means a lot to my family and myself. Honestly, I don't even know what to say, where to start, what to do. I see her body in front of me and I know i'm at her funeral, but how can you wrap your head around the realization that the one you love is gone forever?" I briefly closed my eyes and swallowed back the sob that wanted to break out.

"She's everything to me. She would always make me smile by just smiling at me. She was the only one who would put up with my temper and calm me down by just holding my hand. I loved that I could stare into her eyes and see her soul and see goodness and kindness." I looked at Renesmee.

"She's the one who brought this little rugrat into my life. When my birth parents died, my brother and I were split apart. So about a week or two ago I get a call from a court and they informed me that my brother and his wife had too passed in a car acciedent. This little girl here was the only one that survived. So Bella, still sick, was practically boucing off the walls with her excitment about this little one, so how could I deny both of them a chance of having a family?" I looked back at the crowd.

"Bella will always be present in all of our lives through our memories. Once again Thank you." With that said I walked off stage and everyone clapped.

I took my place next to Bella's coffin. Everyone lined up next to me. First Alice and Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie, Esme and Carlilse and lastly Charlie, Reneé and Phill. I held Renesemee tightly to me. Everyone that attened the funeral was lined up in front on Phill and everyone gave us their regards.

After what felt like forever, the last person gave their regards and left. Reneé came up to Renesmee and I.

"She's so beautiful, Edward. I'm sure you guys would have made great parents, but you're going to be the best dad." She leaned on her toes and kissed my cheek.

"Thank you Reneé. That means a lot to me." I closed my eyes and swallowed the sobs once again. She patted my cheeks and turned to Phill and they walked towards their car.

Charlie came up to us next and put a hand on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry about your brother and sister - in- law. They have one beautiful baby girl, she looks so much like Bella." I nodded my head.

"Thanks Charlie." He nodded, gave my shoulder one more pat then made his way to the cruiser.

Wordlessly Alice took my free hand and together we walked towards the my volvo. Before getting in, I passed Renesmee off to Jasper as he got into the back seat and made my way to the driver side as Alice got in the passenger. Esme, Emmett and Rosalie all got into Carlisle's Mercedes.

~~~~O~~~~

I walked in to my room and place Renesmee on my bed. The day had been long as she quickly fell asleep when we arrived home. After kissing her forehead goodnight, I ran downstiars and picked up the vase with Bella's remains and ran back up to my room. I placed in on the nightstand closest to where shey normally layed, where Renesmee curantly lays.

"Goodnight my Bella. I love you." I turned off the lights and layed besides Renesmee. I closed my eyes and let the memories of Bella flood my mind.

**Author's note: **So what do you guys think? I kind of had a hard time writting this chapter. I rewrote it like 3 times. I hope you guys liked this one. Review please! The more reviews, the faster chapter 7 wil be up!


	7. Chapter 7

**The Sliver of Light in the Dark**

**Chapter 7**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight related, they all belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**Summary: What if Bella didn't survive Renesmee's birth? What would Edward do? Would he kill himself and leave Renesmee without both her parents?**

**EPOV**

The time seemed to pass by slowly and quickly all at the same time. The nights were the hardest. They would drag on without Bella's warm body sleep talking next to me. I missed her sent, her heartbeat, but most of all the mumbled "I love you's".

The days went by quickly. Renesmee's growth was still advanced, but it seemed to slow down a little day by day. At three months old she looked like a big one year old or a small two year old. Each day she would look more like Bella, but I was still there in her hair and in her height. Her vocabulary was expanding quite quickly. She read every night and sometimes twice per night. She had started off with children books, but quickly got bored with all the pictures. She had recently begun reading novels by authors like Rick Riordan because she was fascinated by Greek Mythology.

I feared for my baby girl. My time with Bella only lasted close to four years. I was scared that the time with the only link I have of our love will only last a few more years than that.

What would I do then?

Of course I'd still have my family, but could I really be around all that love. I could barely stand it last time I was separated from Bella. On the other hand, I couldn't leave them because they too would be suffering from the lost of Renesmee.

_NO! _ I shouldn't think about things like that. Nothing is going to happen to Renesmee because I'll give my life up before that happens. I promised myself, but most importantly I promised Bella that I would take care of our daughter.

Like she had known I was thinking about her she danced (a habit she picked up from Alice) into the room. She was thinking about jumping into my arms, so I turned to face her and opened my arms right as she jumped.

_Daddy? When are we leaving?_

Renesmee was quite aware that I could read minds so she barely ever spoke out loud when she wanted to talk to me. She had a gift of her own, she showed people her memories or twisted them so she could show people what she wanted.

"Soon sweetheart, I just need to finishing packing a few more things. Did you pack all of your dolls?"

It was that time again. Time to pack everything up and start over in another town. We wanted to have moved earlier, but I was delaying everyone. I wanted to stay in Forks for a little while longer just to visit places that Bella and I used to go to and remember our conversations.

When Renesmee was about a month and a half old I started to bring her to some places and tell her all about Bella. She was quite and observant just like her mother and she loved to hear about her.

The first place I brought her was to the Biology classroom where Bella and I met. I told Renesmee every detail of our first encounter with each other. Luckily we had a few pictures of Bella from Prom, her birthday and the wedding so Renesmee got to at least see what she looked like besides the one memory of Bella covered in sweat in Emmett's clothing looking so pale and thin from the time she was born.

I remember when I first showed her a picture of Bella. She was a little less then a month and was starting to talk. I had told her about how Bella and I went to Prom and showed her the picture we took there.

_*Flashback* I handed Renesmee the prom picture and she grabbed the picture in her little chubby hands. _

"_That's mom?" She asked looking right into my eyes. I nodded and held her a little closer. She stared at the picture again._

"_She's so pretty." She said as tears welled into her eyes. _

"_Yes, she was so beautiful. And you are beautiful just like her." I kissed her cheek._

_She began to sob and I pulled her onto my lap to cradle her. _

"_Shh, baby. It's ok." I pat down her hair trying to comfort her._

_Renesmee was so smart and I should have seen her next statement coming, but it caught me off guard. _

"_It's all my fault. If I was just a little more careful and didn't kick her so much she wouldn't have died."_

"_No baby. No, don't say that. It's not your fault. You didn't know anything yet, but you were careful. You made sure to not hurt her as much as you could as a little baby. Please don't blame yourself. It's not you're fault."_

"_She must've hate me when I hurt her, when I _sucked_ the life out of her." Her voice broke when she said _sucked_._

"_No baby, your mom loved you, still does. Normal babies kick their mothers too and everytime you did she would caress her stomach and say how much she loved you." _

_She grabbed onto my shirt and sobbed more as I caressed her back. After a while she let go and stopped sobbing._

"_I love you and so does you're mother. She's just in a vase now." She laughed a little but also nodded. She turned to the vase that was placed on the nightstand._

"_I love you mommy." When she said that, my heart broke in two and I had to fight back the sob that wanted to escape. *End of Flashback* _

_Yes, I'm all set to go._

Renesmee brought me back from my flashback.

"Ok, I'll be right down." Renesmee jumped down from my arms and ran downstairs where I heard her sit on the couch and flip through a book.

I picked up the few clothes that I had saved as last minute things to put into the box. I wrapped a few of my big sweaters around Bella's vase and placed it in the box. I taped it off and ran down to place it in my Volvo.

I walked back into the living room and Renesmee looked up with an expression that said "Can we go now?"

Before we drove to our new home, I had told Renesmee that I wanted to show her mine and Bella's favorite place and she was so anxious to see it.

I had saved the meadow for last because I was unwilling to admit to the fact that I had to let it go soon. I figured that if I had somewhere to be I wouldn't sit and stare for I-don't-know-how-many days. Renesmee had heard many stories of our "special place" and when I told her I was going to bring her there she would jump up and down just like Alice.

I nodded at her and she jumped and ran right next to me in a heartbeat. I picked her up and walked to the Volvo. Everyone had already known my plans about taking Renesmee to the meadow.

The drive to the meadow was entertaining to say the least. Renesmee kept bouncing in her car seat in the back and I would chuckle everytime I looked into the rearview mirror and see the giant smile on her face. I parked in the same spot I did when I first took Bella here. I got out of the car as Renesmee anxiously tried to rip the seat belt off. I chuckled at her giddiness as I helped her out of the car seat. I picked her up then the blanket that I had in the backseat so we could sit.

Being accustomed to the vampire speed, I ran quickly to the meadow to spare us lots of time to just bask in it's beauty.

"When I fist brought your mother here I gave her a piggy back ride on the way back. She had her eyes open and was so dizzy when I put her down." I chuckled. "She was really clumsy so I had to hold onto her to keep her from falling." Renesmee giggled as we neared the entry way.

" Renesmee, this is mine and your mother's meadow." She gasped and I stepped through the archway made naturally by the trees and flowers. I walked slowly and let her take it all in. She would look at one place for a while then turn her head and look in another direction and would gasp and look somewhere else.

After about 5 minutes she finally spoke.

"It's so beautiful Daddy." I nodded and she continued.

"She must have loved it here right?" I nodded again. "Tell me about the first time you showed her this place."

I spread out the blanket I had brought and sat down with Renesmee in my arms. I began to tell her all about that wonderful day. I told her how I had showed Bella my vampire powers and I had told her about the conversations we had. I also told her about when I first kissed Bella.

Renesmee acted like she was hearing the best love story ever told and in a way it was to her. She was always asking about her mother, so being in a place where she has heard so many stories about I guess was like a kid in Disney World seeing a "real life" princess. She listened closely and asked many questions.

After I told Renesmee every story about Bella's and my time together in the meadow she was on the verge of falling asleep. When I looked at my wristwatch , I realized we had been there for almost 3 hours. I could never tell the passage of time when I was here.

"I miss you love. I wish you were here so I could hold you and kiss you and tell you that I love you. I know that you're in her heart, keep protecting her love." Exhaling a deep breath, I carefully stood up to not disturb Renesmee as she slept and picked up the blanket.

"Goodbye meadow. I'm going to miss this place." With that I turned and ran to the Volvo parked on the curb.

It was time to go to our new home.

**Author's note:** So what do you guys think? Like it, hate it, just another chapter? I would just like to apologize for not updating sooner. I'm really sorry. I had received so many Favorite and Reviews and Alerts. So, like I had promised I planned on updating quickly, but life didn't let me. Turns out that I had failed a few classes so I had to study to be able to do the make up tests. After that was finished we started the 4th marking period ( where I live the school system is different) and I got a bunch of things that I need to study for.

I had a major test this Friday (the 28th) so I wasn't really on the computer much and never got a chance to type. Since we are almost at the end of the year everything is happening really fast and there is a lot on my plate right now. I'm not sure when my next update will be, but I hope soon. I only got a chance to write this because I finished studying a little earlier because my internet went out (it was thunder storming when I wrote this) and so I had time. I was quite thrilled to be able to write the whole chapter because I was just planning on starting it.

So to make the rest of my story flow better I needed to make time go by. I plan to have a few chapters explaining where they moved (it's a surprise to everyone including me because the idea just popped in my head in the middle of the chapter and I have research to do!) and how they are adapting to the new place. Then I'll probably make time go by faster again, I'm not sure because haven't decided yet. I'm thinking about giving this story about 20 chapters total, so they might get a little longer.

Lastly I just wanted to say that I'm thinking about beginning to write a new story (but you barely update this one!). Yea I know but I'm going to plan it all out (like how many chapters and such) this time and take more time before beginning to type it. I have a few ideas and I'm thinking of making a poll. Not sure yet, but I'll keep you guys posted. I'm mentioning this because I was wondering if you guys (my lovely readers) would like another story by me. When you review let me know.

Ok that's it thanks everyone bye!


	8. Author's Note

**Author's Note:**

Guys I am so sorry to fool you all into thinking this is a new chapter. My aunt came from another state to visit and we have been all over town to show it to her. I have been writing this chapter during the time that I was home since Saturday and I haven't finished it yet.

I have begun writing the outline for the rest of this story and I haven't finished the outline, but I have started writing the next chapter. During my free time since Saturday I have been writing chapter 8 like crazy. It's already a good 3 pages long and I have just gotten started on this chapter.

So I'm sorry to inform that I won't be able to get it up before Breaking Dawn part 1 comes out. I am so disappointed and ashamed of not being able to make the due date I promised but school like has been hell. I'm at the end of the year where I live and it's hectic.

Just so you can get the picture, I have a test on friday (luckily not a big one) that i'll barely be able to take because I am going to the midnight premiere of Breaking Dawn part 1 and I have LOTS to do that day (not related to Twilight).

So once again I'm sorry. I'll try to get it up by the end of the month. That's the best I can do.

- Carinelautner


	9. Chapter 8

**The Sliver of Light in the Dark**

**Chapter 8**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight related, they all belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**Summary: What if Bella didn't survive Renesmee's birth? What would Edward do? Would he kill himself and leave Renesmee without both her parents?**

**EPOV**

Throughout the drive up to Denali my mind went back to when we first informed them that we were coming up.

_We all knew it was time to head somewhere else and we weren't really sure where to head off to yet. It was Emmett who brought up visiting the Denali's and Renesmee quickly decided she wanted to meet more family members as well. We were a little worried about presenting Renesmee to the Denali's, due to the loss of their mother. We came to the conclusion of phoning them first._

"_Hello Tanya, it's Carlisle." _

"_Carlisle! What a great surprise. So what brings this wonderful call?" She quickly got to the point._

"_Well, we're all planning on moving and thought it was a wonderful opportunity to see you all again. We also would like to introduce you to someone." He responded suavely._

"_Do you guys already know where you're heading? And what exactly do you mean someone new?"_

"_No we haven't decided on anything. It's quite difficult to explain our newest member over the phone actually."_

"_Well, why don't you guys stay here? We have plenty of space and won't mind sharing at all." Her laughter was heard clearly through the phone._

"_Are you sure that's alright? I mean we just wanted to visit not move in." Carlisle asked into the receiver of the phone._

"_Of course! We just finished extending the house, so you guys are more than welcome here." She reassured him._

_Carlisle covered the phone with his hand and asked us what we all thought. Unanimously we all agreed that if they could accept Renesmee, we would stay._

"_Alright Tanya, I guess we're moving in." _

"_Great!" _

_They quickly resolved the details of what the move would entail._

To say that I was nervous about them meeting Renesmee was an understatement. Tanya, Kate and Irina were still traumatized by the loss of their mother due to the immortal children. Renesmee looked so much like an immortal child, but not because of her vampire parts, but because of her supernatural beauty.

As Renesmee continued to blossom quickly she looked more like Bella everyday. It was torture and bliss to look at my own daughter. To see the beautiful face of my love, my life gone forever and yet remember all of our cherished times and what we created together with out love for one another.

-/-

After many days of endless driving, we finally arrived at the Denali house. I was the last one to park, behind Emmett's enormous jeep. Everyone was out of their cars except for Renesmee and myself.

Renesmee was practically shaking with excitement to meet everyone. Her face was pressed to the window as she looked at Carlisle who was walking towards Tanya along with everyone else.

"Carlisle, it's so good to see you! How is everything?" Tanya smiled generously.

"Different." He replied.

"Different? How so?" Kate stepped from behind Tanya as she hugged Carlisle and the rest of the family.

"It's quite a long story."

"Well why don't we go inside and talk then. Where's Edward and your newest member?" Tanya asked.

"Still in the Volvo. Before they come out and we all go inside, we need to explain something." He stated.

"Alright." Kate replied, worry painting her features.

"As you know, Edward and Bella got married. Well, when they got back apparently Bella was pregnant."

"What? Is that possible?" They all asked at the same time.

"I guess. We didn't know at the time and we had no idea what to do. We were able to figure out that the baby grows rapidly, has great strength and that the mother needs to drink lots of blood to maintain the baby satisfied. We were able to get the baby safely out of Bella through a Cesarian. She's quite beautiful, her name is Renesmee and she's so intelligent. Her body grows quickly, but her mind grows faster and it's quite interesting to observe."

"Where's Bella?" We didn't want to bring more vampires to Bella's funeral so they didn't know what had happened.

Carlisle looked down, his face etched with sorrow.

"She lost too much blood, the transformation didn't work." He whispered, but of course everyone heard.

Carlisle mentioning this just brought back the horrendous images from that awful day. I closed my eyes and bowed my head to will the images away. Renesmee understood all to well what they were talking about and she had seen my reaction. She used her left hand and caressed my back, but I could see the pain on her features as well. Taking some deep breaths, I managed to open my eyes and will the huge hole in my chest subside, for I knew the pain would never go away.

"Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry everyone, especially you Edward. I know the pain of loosing a loved one." Tayna addressed me, knowing that I could hear.

"Can we meet her? Renesmee, I mean." Kate asked tentatively.

Renesmee looked and me, pleading with her eyes to go say hi to everyone now. I nodded my head and in a flash was by her side of the car picking her up in my arms. Even though Renesmee could walk, run and jump, whenever she was in my arms I instantly calmed down and I think I had the same effect on her when I was holding her, for she made no objections to when I had picked her up.

Quicker than human pace but slower than my vampire speed, I walked up the driveway to catch up with everyone. The Denali's had their eyes opened wide with shock upon seeing me carrying Renesmee up the driveway.

"_Why I never... She's so beautiful, so much like an immortal." _Tanya thought.

"_She's the perfect balance between the both of them. Oh look at those lovely eyes." _Kate observed.

"_Amazing" _Eleazar thought.

Carmen and Irina were speechless even in their minds. They weren't sure what to think. They had thought that she was beautiful and amazing and petite and impossible, basically all of our thoughts when we first saw Renesmee.

"What about the Volturi?" Irina finally spoke. Her eyes were still locked on Renesmee and following her as I walked closer to Carlisle.

"We're not sure what to do about them. Obviously, they're going to want to test her vampire side and/or human side. They might want to keep her captive to further explore what she is. They might also want to destroy her." Carlisle explained.

Renesmee shivered and buried her face in the crook of my neck when Carlisle mentioned the possibility of the Volturi wanting to kill her. Renesmee was told a few times about the Volturi, to better understand the stories I told her of Bella and myself. She knew they were powerful people and she feared them discovering about her. I caressed her back trying to sooth her a little.

"So you plan on hiding her from them?" Irina questioned.

"We just don't want to inform them of her presence." Carlisle replied.

Everyone was quiet as the Denali's thought over their decision of letting us stay. We were all worried about what they had to say and their reaction. Their thoughts were all over the place, choosing between letting us stay or not, making it difficult for me to pinpoint where their minds were heading with their thoughts.

I let out a deep breath as they came to the conclusion of letting us all stay.

"Ok, you guys can stay." Tanya stated.

"Thank you so much Tanya." Carlisle said while shaking her hand.

One more round of hugs and "welcomes" were given this time to me and Renesmee. Kate lead the way over to the house. It was big, much like ours back in Forks. The walls a light brown to contrast from the constant snow on the ground. There were many windows throughout the wall which illuminated the driveway at night. At the far end you could see where they extended the house but, it still matched the rest of the house.** (A/N**:** There is a link in my profile to see the pic of the house.) **

**-/-**

Panic washed over me. What could I do? How do I stop this or at least figure out what it is? Could I be a worse father?

My baby girl was growing way to fast. Even thought most parents thought this, they had years to watch their child grow. A month after moving in with the Denali's and Rensmee was so big. She looked like a one year old. Her hair shinier and longer. Her height growing, and her baby features starting to turn into toddler like.

Would it ever stop? My vampire mind had calculated her age based on the speed of her growth. At this rate she would be an old woman by the age of 15. I couldn't let that happen, there had to be something that I could do.

Emmett, Carlisle, Eleazar, Jasper and I threw ourselves into research. We looked up every legend online to see if we could come up with something. I had told them what Kaure said back during Bella's and my honeymoon. She was clear about the baby growing quickly and being strong, which was painfully proven true during Bella's pregnancy, but that was all she had said.

We searched every site that Google, Bing, Ask and even Yahoo had given us. They all said the same thing, the quick growth, nothing more.

I couldn't take the frustration anymore and I needed time to think, to organize my thoughts and work through them. I walked outside and sat on the porch steps. It was late already and I could hear Renesmee's quiet breathing up in her room.

_What can I do Bella? I can't find anymore information. I'm so worried. I can't loose our baby girl._ I thought as I put my face into my hands.

_What if I don't find any information at all? What will I do then? Bella please, my angel, give me a sign or something I can use to help care for our baby._ I looked up at the night sky, hoping that she was somewhere out there and able to hear my thoughts.

_I miss you my love. I miss holding you in my arms, and caressing your beautiful face. I miss kissing you and telling you how much I love you. I miss staring into your lovely eyes and looking into your soul. I miss your voice, your reassurance and your breathtaking smile. I miss your smell and your touch, my love. _My body began shaking as the sob took over me.

I heard footsteps that could only belong to Tanya. She embraced me in her arms and I hugged her back allowing myself the comfort she brought. After I gained control of myself I look into her eyes and thanked her.

"You most defiantly needed one." She replied. "What's going on in that head of yours, Mmm? You know you can talk to me whenever you need to."

I shook my head, not wanting to tell everyone my problems. She was right of course, I could talk to Tanya and I did when I most needed to talk to someone outside of the family, yet someone close. When I had first seen Bella and smelt her scent, I came rushing here and we talked and she had convinced me to go back.

She looked over to the house then back at me. "Want to go for a hunt."

I knew this was her way of getting us away from everyone so just the two of us could talk. I nodded my head and we both flew out of sight. We ran for about ten minutes trying not to get to far away, but enough for no one to follow or bother us.

We found some mountain lion and a few bears. I hunted pretty quickly because I wasn't really thirsty and neither was she. We found a place with some boulders that looked like we could sit on.

"Ok, what's up?" She asked looking deep in my eyes.

"It's hard Tanya, to live without her." I replied. "I feel like a part of me is missing and I'll never get that back. I miss everything about her."

"I know what you mean. It's hard and nothing will ever be the same. Look at me, it's been centuries and I still can't get over the loss of my mother, none of us can really. The pain never truly goes away."

"Then how do you deal with it?"

"It's tough, especially the first few years, but what I do is think of all the good times."

"Really? How does that help?"

"Yes, really. By thinking of all the good times, you remember that person, you remember the love you have and they had for you. You remember the feel of them in your arms and the emotions that you were going through. By keeping the memory alive, you feel whole once more. Or at least I do."

I nodded, I understood what she meant.

"It's easier when you share them." She said. " I'll start. I remember when Sasha (**A/N: That's their mom's name, just look in the vampire index on Breaking Dawn.**) had taken me out to hunt for the first time. She was so kind. She had told me to calm down and not be nervous because it was all instinct. After I had taken a few breaths to collect myself she smiled reassuringly at me. She looked deep in my eyes and said for me to close my eyes, listen carefully for my prey. When I found them she told me to use my charm and seduce them, then go in for the kill. Now I regret hunting those humans, but I remembered how proud she was of me and I loved that. That was the first time I felt like her daughter."

"I'm glad about that, that you were able to feel that way." I took a deep breath, not sure where to start really. There was so many memories.

"There was nothing I loved more than to watch Bella sleep. I don't mean to sound all creepy and stalker-ish, but it's true. She looked so peaceful sleeping in my arms. I loved hearing her talk in her sleep though. That was my favorite part because it gave me a look inside her mind without her editing anything. She always said how much she loved me, nothing filled me with more joy, but she would also mumble about our life. She dreamed of me almost every night. She would say things like why she loved me or why she picked me or why she wanted to be with me. I never understood why she loved me. I'm a monster, I've killed so many people before and I couldn't see why someone so sweet and innocent and pure could love someone like me. Even awake she would tell me why, but with her asleep it was just something more. I don't know why it just was. I'll never understand why she chose me, but I'm glad she did. I'm also glad that she gave me the best gift in the world, Renesmee. I still wish she was here with me though." I told her.

"I get it."

"You do?" Shock was written all over my face.

"Mmhmm. You always thought that she was editing what she truly felt about loving you. Watching her sleep talk about it gave you the reassurance that you didn't really know you needed. It was just nice to hear her say, right?"

"Yea, that's exactly it."

There was a moment of silence as she let that understanding truly sink in. She looked around then patted my shoulder, waking me from my daze.

"We should head back, Renesmee will be awake soon." She said and she looked up at the sky. It was starting to give signs of dawn approaching.

In a comfortable silence we ran back towards the house. Just as we were getting close to the house Tanya looked over at me.

"Just keep her memory alive, not only by telling the tale of your love for each other to Renesmee, but by remembering all of the good times yourself."

She gave me one final hug and picked up her pace to get inside before day break.

As I walked inside I heard whimpering. I realized it was coming from Renesmee. So I ran up the stairs to her bedroom just in time to see her open her eyes startled. She saw me and the tears began to flow down her cheeks rapidly. I ran to the crib and picked her up.

"It's ok, baby girl. I've got you, it's ok." I cooed while I gently rocked her in a soothing manner.

"Was it a bad dream?" I asked. She shook her head and sniffled at the same time.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" I asked, knowing that it sometimes helped her with situations like this before.

"It was with mommy." she quietly said. I nodded my head in encouragement.

"I had a dream that mommy was here. She was holding me in her arms and telling me she loved me." A few tears had escaped so I sat down on my bed with her on my lap and wiped the tears away.

"You came in and hugged the both of us and there were huge smiles on your faces. Mommy said 'I love you forever' to the both of us then she hugged me tight. Then she said 'Don't worry about a thing sweetheart, we'll figure everything out." She tucked her face into the crock of my neck and began to cry some more. I shushed and caressed her until she stopped and looked at me.

"I miss her, daddy."

"Oh, sweetheart. I miss her too."

I rocked Renesmee back to sleep and placed her in her crib after she calmed down.

In Renesmee's dream Bella had said we would figure everything out. That's what I intended to do. I would spend the rest of forever finding the answer to the questions around Renesmee and her rapid growth.

**A/N: First of all I would like to apologize. I know that in my last author's note I said I was going to update before November was over, but life had other plans. School was crazy, with test and final exams and a big college test I had to take this weekend. I didn't even get a chance to read any on my Fanfiction or go online. I checked my e-mail this weekend, now that school is over for the year, and I want to give a big thank you for all the people who reviewed and have added my story to their Favorite's. It really means a lot to me so once again THANK YOU! I also want to say welcome to all my new readers that I got over the past few weeks. I'm really glad you guys decided to give my story a chance and that you're liking it. **

**I probably mentioned this before, I have and outline (well not 100% done) written out. I just can't give you guys exact dates on when I will update, because it all depends on when I can write and how long. **

**I hope you've enjoyed this chapter it's 6 pages long (not counting the author's note). My chapters will start to get longer as the story goes on. **

**So click on the "Review" button and let me know what you think. I promise to reply to each and every one I get. **

**Until next time!**

**Carinelautner**


	10. Chapter 9

**The Sliver of Light in the Dark**

**Chapter 9**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight related, they all belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

**Summary: What if Bella didn't survive Renesmee's birth? What would Edward do? Would he kill himself and leave Renesmee without both her parents?**

**EPOV**

Two years had passed and I had come to a careful balance, one that would keep me busy from the constant pain in my chest. I would spend all day with Renesmee. I would tend to all of her needs as time kept going by. Renesmee was very smart for her age. So with a month and a half of age she was already alphabetized and quickly learning the names to everything surrounding her. Esme had always wanted to become a teacher, so she took on that role for Renesmee. They would use Carlisle's office for two hours everyday.

At night, I would search up any kind of information about Renesmee. I searched books and the internet and kept an eye out for any signs of the theories presented, but none of them were ever right. Eleazar was a great help, every time I thought a theory might be the answer, I would sit with him and Carlisle and we would discuss the possible outcomes from every angle, until proven that it wasn't the right theory.

Even with all of the research I was doing, I still made some time to remember Bella, like Tayna said. One night after four hours of hopeless research, I gave in for the night and sat outside to just remember. I remembered our wedding. I remembered how amazing the place looked thanks to Alice, and all of the nerves I felt. I lingered with the memory of Bella walking down the aisle holding onto Charlie. I savored the way her dress looked so beautifully on her, I kept replaying the look on Bella's face when she saw me standing there waiting for her. I remembered the vows we both took and that kiss. Our first kiss as husband and wife.

I glanced down at my left hand, where my wedding band was still on my ring finger. I played with it, twirling it around my finger as I replayed that memory.

An image of Bella popped into my head, one that wasn't what I was remembering. It was Renesmee thinking about her. Lately that's all she's ever dreamed about, her mother. She was curious.

Renesmee knew that Bella wasn't alive, that much was obvious, but she didn't know what caused her death. She was scared to ask me, scared for my reaction and scared of her reaction.

She didn't resemble my sweet little baby girl from two years ago, but she wasn't a toddler either. She was very smart and constantly aware of everything. She looked like a 7 year old, but acted like a 14 year old.

Every night Renesmee would dream of different scenarios that caused her mother's death. Even though I knew that she just wanted to find some answers and that she couldn't control her subconscious, it still hurt to see all of the different ways Bella could have died, but the worst was that Renesmee always awoke terrified when she saw who the killer was and in every dream she was the killer. I would try to soothe her, to tell her it was all just a bad dream, but I couldn't do anything to stop the dreams. I knew how bad she wanted to know the story, but I didn't want to tell it to her. I had asked the rest of the family not to tell her, that I would when the time was right.

Even though I didn't want to tell Renesmee the story, the time had come, for her dreams kept getting worse which resulted to her barely sleeping and becoming very grouchy. She was in her room doing the homework that Esme had assigned her. I stood in front of her door for a few minutes before knocking.

"Come on in dad." She replied. Renesmee had sensitive hearing, though not quite like ours, so she knew that I was outside her door.

I opened the door carefully as I prepared myself to tell Renesmee my worst memory.

**RPOV**

I knew my father was outside my door, so I immediately let him in when he knocked. I turned around to face him and saw worry etched on his features. Furrowing my brow, I asked him what was wrong.

"Nothing's wrong." He sighed deeply. "I just need to tell you something."

Immediately, I knew what it was. I was having nightmares for a while now, but they started to get intense and worse recently. Every time I woke up almost screaming I felt intense guilt, but I could never figure out why. I had assumed that it was because I knew my father could see my dreams and that probably caused him pain, but deep inside I knew that wasn't the case. Looking at him cross the room and sit at the edge of my bed, I knew he was going to tell me the one story he had avoided to think about, let alone tell me about. He was going to tell me the cause of my mother's death.

I sat up on the bed and pushed away my school books. I grabbed both my father's hands, hoping to ease some of his pain. I knew this was a tough subject because he once explained to me that he would always feel like half of him was missing.

"Your mother's death was sort of a chain reaction." He took a deep breath and began to tell the story.

"Your mother and I got married and we went to Isle Esme for our honeymoon. We spent two weeks there before we found out she was pregnant with you. We rushed home because we didn't know anything that was happening. Renesmee, you need to know that I love you very much before I continue."

"I know that daddy." I replied while looking deep in his eyes to show that I know he loved me deeply.

He nodded and continued.

"At the time, we didn't know that you were possible. No vampire had ever been with a human before unless the human was lunch afterward. So when we found out that your mother was pregnant I began to panic. I didn't think of the beautiful creature and the little baby that was inside of her womb, all I thought about was the vampire parts and I was scared that Bella wouldn't make it."

Wait, what does that mean? Did I suck the life out of my mother while I was in her womb? Was I slowly killing her from the inside out?

"When your mom found out, she was so happy. She was thrilled that she was pregnant and that we were going to have a baby, but I didn't see it like that and I thought she was crazy for wanting to keep you. We didn't know how to care for you and her and all we could think about was saving her and I'm really sorry for thinking that, but I've never been happier to be wrong, and so is the rest of the family. Know that they love you too, very much."

I just nodded, I couldn't think straight yet.

"Your aunt Rosalie and your mother fought for you, but your mom was quickly getting worse. We would try to feed her, but she would throw up and never absorb the nutrients her body needed to stay alive. You were so much stronger the her, constantly kicking her, but she never complained and took it all. After a while, close to when you were due, we discovered that your appetite was closer to ours and that you were thirsty. So we were able to get some human blood and your mother drank it all up and that got her stronger and she was able to eat again. Then one day, while Carlisle was out hunting and getting more blood for Bella, it all happened so fast."

I nodded again to let him know that I was keeping up. I just listened to everything not wanting to let it sink in just yet.

"By this point in time, I could make out your thoughts and I realized that you are pure and loving and not at all what I had thought. I feel so ashamed for having thought that and I'm so sorry sweetheart."

"It's ok dad." I whispered.

"Your mom had just finished telling me what she wanted to name our baby and I happily agreed. She was reaching for her cup of blood when she accidentally dropped it. She tried to pick it back up alongside us, but as she was stretching something inside her broke and she quickly fell to the ground."

I knew we were getting close to the moment she died because his features were so sad and distant.

"She had fainted and we raced her up to Carlisle's study which was transformed into a hospital at the time. We quickly came to the conclusion that the placenta had detached. Do you know what that means?"

I nodded my head, "I was dying too, right?"

He nodded. "So we had to get you out as quickly as possible and inject your mom with my venom to save you both. Your mother was in and out of consciousness. I had inserted morphine in her blood system so she wouldn't feel much pain, but I don't think it worked. When I got through her skin, she kept gasping and I wasn't sure what she was going through, but I had left the cut unattended which caused her to loose so much blood. I was able to get you out after ripping the amniotic sac with my teeth because it was like my skin. I got you out in time and it was just the best moment of my life, to see my baby girl for the first time and hold her. When I looked up, she was looking at me crying with the biggest smile on her face. I asked her if she wanted to hold you and she nodded, so I handed you to her."

My eyes widened as I recalled that memory, the only memory of my mother.

"You were thirsty and she was covered in blood...so you bit her nipple. I pulled you away quickly and handed you to Rose, but Bella was already beginning to faint. The worst thing was her heart started to slow down. When I heard that, I froze and kept looking at her until I remembered that I needed to save her, but she had lost so much blood and was loosing to much as well. I injected her with my venom, but her heart had given up. I tired everything, but nothing brought her back to me...to us."

He was looking at his wedding ring again. I squeezed his hand in a comforting way and he looked at me. He wiped the tears I didn't know that had fallen. I pulled him into a hug.

"Stay with me the rest of the night, please?" I begged.

"Of course baby girl."

He removed his shoes and laid down on the bed by my side. I held onto him and he began humming my mother's lullaby, knowing how it soothed me.

My dream was like the story my dad had told me. I saw everything that happened. My mother pregnant with me, but being sick and throwing up and being kicked by me constantly. My mother dropping her cup and trying to pick it back up. All of the birthing process that my dad explained came clearly to me, almost as if I was watching it from someone else eyes.

I woke up screaming in horror. Arms were around me in a instant and the embrace made me feel better, which made me feel guilty.

"Shh, baby. It's ok, I'm here." He cooed in my ear, soothing me. I hugged him back and tried to clear my thoughts, but one thing kept coming back to me.

It was all my fault. My mother's death was all my fault.

"No it's not. Don't you ever say that!" he argued.

"Of course it's my fault! How could it now be? I starved her, I kicked her. I killed her."

I launched myself into his arms and let the tears spill.

He was quite for a long time. Almost like he was thinking something, but wasn't sure how to tell me. What could he be thinking that would make him so quiet.

And then it hit me.

"You're not saying anything. You think it's my fault too." I yelled.

"What? NO! Renesmee it wasn't your fault." He shot back.

"Stop lying!"

I got up and ran from the room. I didn't want to see his disappointed expression. He was right about me when I was just a fetus growing in my mother's stomach. I was a monster.

I didn't see Kate in the hallway as I was running as far away from my room.. and him, so I bumped into her.

"Oof. Sorry Kate, I didn't see you there." I apologized.

"It's ok Renesmee. Are you alright?"She asked concerned.

"Not really."

"Would you like to talk about it?"

"Yea, but can we do so while hunting? I'm kind of thirsty." I mumbled shyly.

"Of course sweetheart."

We dashed outside and ran side by side for half an hour. I guess she didn't want to go too far. I heard some deer nearby and ran after them. They weren't my favorite, but the burn in my throat wasn't too bad and I needed a distraction before I unleash everything to Kate. After my deer I sat down on the ground next to Kate, who had finished hunting a while before me. She embraced me in a hug.

"What's the matter sugarplum?"

"You didn't hear the conversation with my father?"

"No, I wasn't near the house. I wanted to go for a walk."

"Oh. Well, Lately I've been having nightmares about my mother's death. So, my father decided to tell me what actually happened. I knew this was a touchy subject for him to talk about. He told me everything and I couldn't help but feel guilty. I killed her Kate, my own mother." I wiped the tears that began to fall.

"Oh, sweetheart. You didn't kill your mother. Why would you think that?"

"Because I kicked and sucked the life out of her!"

"That wasn't your fault. You didn't know what you were doing and your mother loved you. She loved feeling you kick, even if it hurt her."

"Yea, well how do you know?" I mumbled.

"Because Rosalie told me. You know, when your mother was pregnant with you Rose was the one who took care of her, so they talked a lot. She told me that every time you kicked your mom would smile through the pain because you were stronger then her. Rose asked her about it one day and she said that it was proof of the love your father and her shared. It was a life they created together."

I smiled a little, thinking about my mother, but then I remembered my father's silence.

"Well, then how come when I told him that I felt like it was my fault he fell quiet?"

"I don't know. Did you ask him about it?"

"No, I ran from the room because I knew he agreed with me. He thinks it's my fault too."

"No he doesn't."

I humphed and looked away from her.

"Renesmee, look at me please." I turned and faced her.

"I've known your father for a very long time. He doesn't and would never think that you killed you mother. Maybe he was remembering what truly caused her death, or just her and didn't hear you when you blamed yourself. I don't know what goes on in that head of his, but he does everything for a reason. Sometimes not that right reason, but still for a reason. Just know that he loves you very much and would do anything for you. He's trying his hardest to be a father you know. It's not easy raising a child on your own, let alone a vampire hybrid. Just give him a chance." She chuckled.

I smiled. She was right. My father always had a reason, so I need to find out why he was so quiet. I stood up and hugged Kate.

"Thank you for listening and helping me through this."

"No problem, that's what cousins are for. "She smiled and we ran back home.

**EPOV**

Crap! Crap, crap, crap! Where could she have gone? I'm so stupid for not running after her. I should have told her flat out that it was my fault Bella died and not have hesitated. I'm the worst father in the world.

I heard her fluttering heartbeat and ran to the windows where I saw her and Kate smiling at each other. Kate gave Renesmee a hug and ran upstairs. She was silent even in her mind.

"Where were you?" I asked as soon as she sat on the couch.

She opened her mouth to respond, but I cut her off.

"No, it's ok. Sweetheart I need for you to know that I don't blame you for your mother's death. I only hesitated because I wasn't sure how to tell you that it was all my fault. I should have done more to save her and I didn't. I didn't know how to explain it to you without you thinking that I'm such a horrid person." I looked to the ground.

I heard her footsteps as she walked to me and felt her warm hand on my chin pushing it so I knew to look up. I looked into her deep brown eyes.

"You are not a horrid person. I don't blame you for mom's death. You did everything you could and more, daddy. I'm proud of you for not giving up on her. It's no ones fault why she died. Life's unfair and sometimes we don't get everything that we always want, but that doesn't mean we don't get things we didn't ask for. I love you daddy." She wrapped her arms around me.

"I love you too, my baby girl." I hugged her back.

"I was with Kate about a half hour away in the forest. I needed to clear my mind." She answered my first question.

I just nodded my head. I didn't care anymore as long as she forgave me then I was happy.

**AN: I know this is very late, but Happy Holidays to all of my readers! I hope it was filled with joy and happiness and that this new year is a great one.**

**I know you all are probably mad at me for not updating sooner, but I have my reasons. I had this chapter ready to be updated the week of Christmas (yes, it was going to be my Christmas present to you guys), but my computer broke down. I could still write, but it wouldn't let me update because it wouldn't connect to my internet. That problem is half way fixed. I can update, but I can't really stay online long due to the fact that the connection only lasts about 10 minutes. Don't worry you can still review and I can read and reply through my iPod.**

**Lastly, I want to thank everyone who reviewed. Sorry if I didn't reply to all of you who reviewed, I'm doing the best I can. Also, can you guys that read PLEASE review a little more. I'm grateful for the people who review but, I'm feeling kind of down because I couldn't update sooner. I want to know what you guys think of when you read my story. I know how many readers I have, so I expect more reviews. I don't like flamers, but I'll respond respectfully IF you leave your name. C'mon, if your going to bash my work have the balls to leave your name. I was thinking about leaving questions for you guys here in my author's note so we can have a better conversation. I love making friends and I know many people who have become friends through FanFiction.**

**So my first question is, Do you think this question thing is a good idea? Why? **

**Thanks everyone and see until next time. :D**


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